So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
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