how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
