We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
