How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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