so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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