He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
