don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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