His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just google imaged poop.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
