She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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