I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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