Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
