holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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