please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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