I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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