wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
