man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
