this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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