I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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