How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
