You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
