I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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