i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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