I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
