im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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