I hate all girls vehemently.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
