Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
In America we eat man semen.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just high enough for therapy.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
