In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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