You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize