I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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