i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize