If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
