But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
