he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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