all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
