I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
