singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
