I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
