i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
