i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
