i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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