If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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