It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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