I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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