Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
