hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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