We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
