hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
