Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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