glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Farmville is her only friend.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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