My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
