put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
