oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
