Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
