Nicole vs. Life
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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