i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
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