Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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