I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
