just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
