The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You may now shotgun with the bride
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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