god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
