Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
