I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Someone shit on the floor
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm too high and old for this...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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