just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
