loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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