and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
